


Learning the Ropes

by DrunkenColaBottle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bickering, Charlie Ships It, M/M, Plot What Plot, Post Season 8, Universe Alteration, home sweet bunker, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkenColaBottle/pseuds/DrunkenColaBottle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has (for the most part) settled into the bunker after having become a human. Dean has just finished cleaning out a room for him, when a certain Charlie Bradbury comes to visit. </p><p>This is set after season 8, Cas is human, but Hell has been sealed off. Everyone is fairly happy. Except Crowley. And Adam, I guess.<br/>I also don't have a beta reader, so everything is probably a typo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> I set the rating to 'mature' because that's what I'm going for... but I might very well chicken out and just make it really fluffy, 'cause I'm a bit of a prude at heart. I'm trying deal with that infuriating part of my personality the best I can, but it's hard. We'll see what happens, I guess.

Dean had spent the entire morning cleaning out the old room. At first the plan had been to clear the room entirely of the few things whoever the previous owner had been had left in it, as to allow the angel (although, he wasn’t so much of an angel anymore) to decorate the room himself. However, the more time he spent on it, the more he realized that his friend really didn’t have that many things to fill it up with again.

The whole thing had ended with him spending all of lunch as well, filling up the room once again – only this time with objects he thought would be more fitting to the room’s new owner. Alright, so maybe he had put a music player in there (with a few classic rock cassette tapes to go along for good measure), and maybe he had put up a few neat guns on the wall (none of which were loaded, of course), but that was only to encourage growth. There was a lot to being human that Castiel just didn’t know about, and it was Dean’s job as his friend to show him the ropes – even if these particular ropes might be slightly biased towards certain things.

 

When he was finally satisfied with his work, his stomach was about ready to grow a whole new set of limbs just to walk out of his body and slap him in the face for being so negligent. He groaned along with it and walked out of the room, casting only a fleeting look back at the fruits of his effort. It was about time Cas got his own room. They weren’t exactly without space. Of course Castiel, having been an angel up until recently, hadn’t really been in need of his own room before. Back then, he would have gotten him one anyway, had he asked for it.

 

Reaching the kitchen, he found Sam and Cas sitting stuffed behind Sam’s laptop.

“-and if you want more options, you just right-click on the icon, okay?”

“Oh.”

“You guys having fun?” Dean asked, walking around the table to hover over them. He wasn’t sure Cas would end up being too much of a computer fan, but he supposed it was a good thing to at least teach him the basics.

“Yes,” Cas answered, looking up briefly to meet his eyes, “The number of things you can do with this machine is amazing.”

“I haven’t even shown him the internet yet,” Sam told him, patting Cas on the shoulder. Oh, wow. He was this impressed by Paint and Solitaire? He was gonna freak when all the wonders of the Internet came smacking him in the face. He really was a nerd, after all.

“Well, go easy on him. We don’t want his head to implode,” Dean laughed, “Is there any grub?”

“Yeah, we left some leftovers in the fridge. You’re gonna have to reheat it, I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine.”

They had yet to add a microwave to the bunker, so the oven would have to do. He took out the two burgers that he deemed to be his from the fridge and placed them on the counter, upon which he turned on the oven, cranking up the heat. He then went back to perch over the others.

“Then we have different text documents, but I think you’ll only really need Word, and maybe Notepad,” Sam continued, opening one of each, “The first’s more for heavier text, while you’d probably only use the other one for short notes.” Cas nodded in what Dean wasn’t too sure was understanding.

“So if you want to write a diary, you should probably do that in Word,” Dean piqued in. Sam shot him a glare.

“I see,” Cas said, “Is that something I should do?”

“No,” Sam said, with a sigh, “I mean, unless you want to. You could keep a hunter’s journal. I guess you’ll become a hunter now anyway, huh?”

“Hunter _in training_ ,” Dean corrected him. Cas may be older than bad haircuts, but that didn’t mean anything if he didn’t even know how to load a gun. Age did not equate with experience; not in this case, at least.

“Dean, I was a warrior of Heaven,” Cas reminded him, turning around to show him his disapproval through the act of tightly knitting his brows together.

“Yeah, with special emphasise on the ‘ _was_ ’ part. Things work a little differently when you’re human, and I’m not gonna let you barge into battle thinking a stab wound won’t kill you.”

“I’m not stupid, Dean.”

“I know, but you _are_ inexperienced. So just suck it up and soak in the knowledge of your new teachers. I’m not letting you out on a hunt before I know you can handle yourself.”

Cas let out a huff of disapproval, but didn’t press the matter, something Dean was thankful for. He didn’t want to start an argument on an empty stomach, and he especially didn’t want to start one with Cas since he wanted to introduce him to his new room. He wanted to make sure he felt at home in the bunker. It wasn’t easy being human, and Dean wagered it was even less so if you had just been tossed into it without any pre-existing familiarity of what it truly meant. Sure, Cas had watched humanity for longer than ‘humanity’ had even been a thing, but watching and being were two different things altogether. He knew things no ordinary human could ever learn, but yet he didn’t grasp some of the most basic human knowledge. He had gotten better throughout the years, but there was no way Dean was letting him outside without a leash on before he learned a few things.

 

Sam continued explaining one basic computer function after the other while Dean finished restoring his burgers. Sam probably would have made a pretty good school teacher, Dean noted, had he not been a hunter. He barely let Cas touch the computer, but aside from that he was rather good at explaining stuff in a pedagogic way.

“Alright, time to break things up, you two,” Dean said, wiping some crumbs out of his shaggy chin and standing up from his seat. He needed to shave, he noted in the back of his mind.

“Why?” Cas asked, looking almost worried. Sam just closed the laptop.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Dean declared. Okay, now he looked _actually_ worried. What, did he think he was gonna prank him again?

“You’ll like it,” he promised, but then added, “I hope, at least.”

“I think you will,” Sam said encouragingly.

“Very well,” Cas said, he too standing up. Sam followed suit, and the three of them left the kitchen to walk down the hallway towards Cas’ new room.

“It’s pretty awesome,” Dean said on the way, “So if you don’t like it I’m gonna be so mad.”

“Dean!”

“What? I worked my butt off all day!”

“Just because you’re slow. Why did it even take so-”

“Shush!” Dean said as they reached the door, “Cas, close your eyes.”

“I don’t know if I want to,” Cas confessed, looking at Sam as though he would help him. When had Cas turned so paranoid? He hadn’t been that bad… and why did he seek refuge with Sam, anyway? Sam was just as bad as he was.

“It’s okay, you can just walk in,” Sam said, giving Dean a look.

“No, we’re doing it my way,” Dean insisted, “You’re not the one who’s spent the whole day with this.”

“I helped by keeping Cas away. And besides, it’s _your_ fault if he doesn’t trust you. You’re the one who’s been dousing him in water and throwing pepper in his face and-“

“What do you mean ‘ _he doesn’t trust me_ ’? You did that too! He doesn’t trust you any more than me – right Cas?” He directed the last part to the former angel who looked a bit taken aback by the sudden question.

“Uh- Ah… _Of course_ I trust you, Dean. If it’s really important, I won’t look.”

“You can look, Cas, it’s fine,” Sam said, ushering the shorter man closer to the door.

“Dude, no,” Dean slipped in between them and the door, blocking their way, “My way or the highway.”

“Dean, you’ve spent the last few days systematically scarring him for live. In fact, I should probably go in first, just to make sure you haven’t stashed something in there to prank him with,” Sam huffed, gripping hold of the doorpost, “You’re the worst,” he added.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Seriously. Did Sam think he was some sort of monster? He wasn’t gonna give the guy his own room only to hide traps in it. In retrospect, that would have been pretty funny, but it wasn’t something he had actually _done_. Moreover, he’d only pranked Cas to make him feel welcomed. It wasn’t like he found it friggin’ hilarious hearing him yelp and listening to him sneeze six times in a row.

“I’ll close my eyes,” Cas decided with a sigh, “But if I end up regretting it, I’ll take it out on your car.”

“ _What!?_ ” Dean gasped, puffing himself up to cover the door even further, “Don’t even joke about that!”

“I’m not.”

“What’s the matter, Dean? Is the room filled with angry bees?” Sam mocked.

“Where would I even get those?” Dean hissed, “And no; _it’s not._ I told you it’s clean.”

“Then just get out of the way,” Sam said, lightly pushing him to the side. He let him do it, moving away from the door. He did not, however, wipe the frown from his face.

“You’d better like it,” he growled. Cas squinted his eyes at him, but then closed them completely. Sam opened the door, and Dean took a hold of their friend’s shoulders, leading him inside.

He smiled brightly at Sam once they were all inside. Sam, on the other hand, did not look too impressed.

“Dean…” he said quietly.

“Okay, Cas, you ready?” Dean said, squeezing his shoulders.

“Yes?” was the unsure answer. Dean chuckled. He’d better appreciate this.

“Open ‘em.”

Cas unscrewed his eyes slowly, his gaze travelling from side to side, until his head joined with the motion. He turned around, looking up and down, and then he turned to give Dean a puzzled look.

“What am I looking for?” he asked, his attention shifting between trying to find something and staring at Dean questioningly.

“All of it,” Dean said, his already broad smile widening.

“What do you mean?”

Dean gestured at the room.

“We figured you’ve spend too much time on that sofa. If you’re gonna live in the bunker, you’re gonna have to have your own room. You know; somewhere to retreat to.”

“You’re giving me my own room?” Cas asked. Dean nodded. Cas looked at Sam, who smiled at him only to then return to his previous occupation of glaring at Dean.

“We have enough space to spare,” Dean explained, “We might as well divide it a bit. It’s not like Sam and I need a gazillion rooms to ourselves, anyway.”  

Sam cleared his throat behind Cas.

“But,” he said, “You were supposed to get to decorate it yourself, so it would suit your needs. I guess _someone_ didn’t get the memo.”

“Oh, come on!” Dean groaned, “He’ll remake it once he has collected enough crap to fill it himself. He can’t live in a naked room, that’s just depressing!”

“So _that’s_ why it took you so long? You were busy putting in guns and- he doesn’t even listen to AC/DC. This is supposed to be Cas’ room.”

“It _is_. I’m just trying to help out, it’s not like he can’t just toss it out if he doesn’t like it,” Dean said.

“Like he’s gonna do that. You’re such a jerk sometimes.”

“You’re such a bitch _all_ the time.”

“I like it,” Cas said, letting his hand run over the sole desk in the room. Dean hadn’t even noticed he’d moved.

“See?” he said, leering triumphantly at Sam who just shook his head in disgust.

“You put up pictures,” Cas continued, “It’s a nice touch.”

Sam walked up to stand next to Cas.

“Dude, you put up pictures of yourself in Cas’ room?”

“It’s pictures of _us_ ,” Dean corrected him, “I didn’t know what to do, the walls looked empty.”

“I’m barely even visible on this one,” Sam pointed out.

“How is that my fault? I can’t help it if the camera loves me.”

“There might be too many firearms up. I’m not too fond of them,” Cas continued. He didn’t seem to care at all for their squabbles.

“ _See?_ ” Sam mocked.

“Then we’ll take them down. Replace them with paintings of Sammy,” Dean said, patting his brother on the shoulder.

“Or pictures of Dean in a dress.”

“That was _one_ time.”

“The bed looks comfortable,” Cas persisted, walking over to the piece of furniture.

“A whole lot better than a couch, that’s for sure,” Dean said.

“Yes… thank you. Both of you.”

“Of course, Cas,” Sam said.

“You didn’t even do anything.”

“It was _my_ idea!”

“ _Regardless_ ,” Cas interrupted them, “I’m really thankful to the both of you. This having happened to me… I have no one to blame but myself. You two had no obligation to take me in, yet you did. So thank you for that – and for everything else.”

“What are you talking about, man?” Dean asked, taking a few steps closer to his friend, “You’re our wingman; we wouldn’t just leave you in a ditch just because thing’s gone sour.”

“I don’t _have_ wings anymore, Dean,” Cas reminded him.

“That’s not- damnit, Cas, we’re family. You, me, and Sammy. And family sticks together, so just stop thanking us for stupid crap and start taking things for granted for a while, okay?” Dean lectured. Sam nodded in agreement and went up to ruffle the former angel’s hair.

“Seriously, Cas. You’re like the little brother I always kinda wanted,” he said.

“Sam, I existed before you species was even a concept.”

“That’s okay. We Winchesters have always equated seniority with size.”

“ _Like Hell we have!_ ” Dean barked. Sam was going too far. You couldn’t just take someone’s position as the oldest away from them!

“Look, Dean; I understand how hard it must be for you to be so short-”

“ _I’m not short!_ ”

At that, Cas let out a loud groan and sat down on his new bed.

“Look what you did! Now Cas hates you!” Dean hissed.

“ _Me!?_ You’re the one who started screaming!”

“ _I’m not screaming!_ ”

“Would you two just stop…?” Cas grunted into his hands that he was now leaning his face against. Was he sick? Typical Sam to be so obnoxious when Cas was sick!

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, he too sitting down.

“I’m very thankful for the room, but you both are being _really_ annoying,” Cas wheezed.

“Wow,” was all Dean managed to say.

“Harsh,” was Sam’s take on it.

“And I don’t understand what you’re fighting about,” Cas continued, “The focus shifts constantly, and it doesn’t make any sense.”

Dean sighed.

“Well, you’re human now, so you’d better get used to it. Being human means most things don’t make sense,” he said. Cas didn’t seem to like this explanation, something he honestly couldn’t blame him for. He wasn’t really fighting with Sam, just as Sam wasn’t really fighting with him. It wasn’t really Cas’ fault for not picking up on it; they hadn’t been like this in years. Not since before the apocalypse. But, what with Hell being closed off, and them not having to live on the road anymore… things were just more laid back now. And, although he’d never tell the guy, he was rather happy with Cas having turned human. The whole of Heaven as his personal burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t need to care about that stuff anymore. As convenient as it had been to have an angel up their sleeve, at least now he couldn’t just up and leave without any warning to fight on his holy crusade.

 

It was then the phone vibrated in his pocket. He picked it out to look at his messages. A broad grin grew onto his lips as he read it.

“Well I’ll be damned,” he said, earning the others’ attention, “We’re under attack.” 


	2. Teaming Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Charlie. Hah! Now the tags are no longer lying. Wonderful. 
> 
> I promise there is at least one typo in this. And at least one Sherlock reference. The two are not connected (I think).

There she was, standing with her head bent upwards, inspecting the large building towering over the bunker. Her face lit up when their eyes met and he quickened his pace, taking two steps in one as he climbed the short stairs. She walked closer.

“What’s up, bitches?” she said, waving. Dean just smiled at her and caught her in a tight embrace, twirling her around a few times in the air, just to prolong the hug.

“It’s good to see you, Charlie!” he said.

“That’s great – can’t breathe,” she gasped in response. He let her down, putting a hand on her back to escort her towards the others.

“Hey, Sam,” she said, “Looking good. If one doesn’t count the dark circles.” Sam laughed.

“You look good, too. How have you been?”

“Great. Regained my title as queen, hacked into a few corporate websites, spent way too much time on tumblr. You know, the usual.”

“Sounds like fun,” Dean said, “I hope you kicked some shadow orc ass for me.”

“Sure did. Who’s that guy?” Charlie pointed her finger at Cas who was standing a bit behind Sam with his head bent to the side, sporting a confused look. He almost looked a bit affronted by her question.

“That’s Cas,” Dean told her.

“The angel?”

“Yup.”

“Oh my Glob.”

She left Dean’s side and nearly pranced over to where Cas was standing.

“Holy HAL. I can’t believe it. I was starting to doubt I’d ever actually get to see you,” she said. Dean walked closer, watching in amusement as Cas’ confusion grew even more visible on his face.

“I’ve read so much about you,” Charlie continued, “Some fan-works too. Coolest angel in the garrison.”

“We can take this conversation inside, right? Kinda chilly out here,” Dean pointed out. He didn’t particularly care about the weather, but Cas’ face had immediately dropped at the mention of his no longer present grace.

“Sure. I’ve been meaning to spend some more time at your place ever since, well, I _left_ ,” she said, allowing them to lead her inside. This was pretty awesome, he thought. Now he had his three favourite people under the same roof. If they didn’t end up having a great time, he’d be so disappointed.

 

“I hope you don’t mind if I crash here for a few days?” Charlie said once they had reached the library. She took off her backpack and placed it on one of the tables, digging around in it for a bit.

“That’s fine,” Dean said. _A few days?_ Things just got better and better. Maybe they could even throw a party.

“I originally came here for a case, but it turned out to be a cat. Worst. Hunt. Ever,” she continued, finally finding what she was looking for inside her bag. She pulled out a tablet and started poking at its screen.

“You really shouldn’t go on hunts alone,” Dean reprimanded her.

“Good thing I have no luck whatsoever with finding monsters, then. Maybe I’m trying too hard?”

“So do you have any plans, then?” Sam asked, “We’re taking a short break from hunting, so we’re not really doing anything at the moment.”

“We’re… _rehabilitating_ ,” Dean clarified. If anything, this explanation only seemed to put further questions in her head.

“From what?”

“Well,” Sam said, badly masking the grin on his face, “We closed the gates of Hell. Forever.”

“For real…?” she said, looking at them in what Dean chose to interpret as amazement, “Wow, tag your spoilers.”

“Yeah, for real,” Dean said, “So Sam’s a bit worn out, Cas lost his wings, and we have a bit of a ghostly presence walking around. Try not to mind him.”

“Ghostly- _what?_ What happened to Cas?” she asked. Dean looked at the former angel who had now taken to shuffling his feet. He looked uncomfortable. Was he embarrassed? That was almost cute.

“He got tricked by an evil douche bag who stole his grace. We’ll get it back,” he explained. Cas looked up at him, a thankful smile faintly visible on his lips.

“You guys are adorable,” Charlie said, “Who’s the ghostly presence?”

Dean took his eyes off of his friend and returned his attention to their guest. ‘ _Adorable_ ’? Psh – _she_ was adorable.

… He cleared his throat.

“You heard of Crowley? Yeah, well, he’s human too. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so he’s here until we do.”

“So if you hear someone sighing and moaning; that’s him,” Sam filled in.

“Wow, you guys sure have been busy.”

“Yeah, hence the vacation. You hungry?” Dean asked, “I think we still have a burger left in the fridge.”

“Oh, no, I’m fine. Had some killer nachos for lunch, you’d have liked them.”

 

They settled into the library, discussing the culinary arts of Mexico, a subject Cas apparently felt more comfortable talking about, as opposed to his lost grace. It didn’t take long, however, before they started making plans for the evening. Dean had thought this would be a great opportunity to cultivate Cas’ embarrassingly scarce knowledge on films, and had as such initiated an argument on what movie to start with.

“What about Star Wars?” Charlie suggested.

“I think it’d be best to start with something simpler and less… lengthy. Something classic,” Sam said.

“Star Wars _is_ a classic.”

“The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,” Dean declared, clearing the table from scrolls and books.

“Really? I don’t think he’d like that one,” Sam objected, “It’s too violent, not to mention the name of the bad guy…”

“Right. Escape from Alcatraz?”

“You’re not listening.”

“How about something a bit more…” Charlie motioned with her hands in the air, as if trying to catch a fleeting word, “Slow paced?”

“The Artist?” was Sam’s suggestion.

“How about no?” Dean said, “We’re all gonna watch this, not just you and Cas. Besides; Cas wouldn’t like that one, either.”

“I don’t really care either way” Cas said somewhere in the background.

“Die Hard. He’d like that one,” Dean said. He would, wouldn’t he? Bruce Willis was a badass, Cas was kinda a badass, when he wanted to be; they’d get right along – like egg and bacon.

“ _No_ ,” Sam scoffed.

“Maybe he’d like something romantic? I think he’s a bit sappy at heart,” Charlie said, “Casablanca? Oh, no, wait; _Notorious_. Let’s spice things up with some Hitchcock!”

“I dunno. Bergman’s hot and all, but I’m not sure I’m in the mood for black and white,” Dean sighed.

“I think it’s a good pick,” Sam said, looking over Cas as though evaluating him thoroughly, “He’ll like it.”

“Maybe,” Dean said, “But I think we should go for something more light-hearted. Something _fun_.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Dean couldn’t for the life of him think of any funny movies that he thought Cas would enjoy. Judging by the others’ lack of suggestions, he assumed he wasn’t the only one. He wasn’t even sure Cas would _like_ funny movies, or even get them at all, but fact was the guy had seen enough drama in his own life to have to deal with fictional ones as well. It’d be nice if the guy got to laugh a little for once.

“Maybe we could start with something else?” Castiel suggested.

“No, you need the education,” Dean told him. He’d be damned if Cas didn’t get at least one reference he threw at him by the end of the day.

“We could play games?” Charlie proposed, “Anyone up for Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

Dean gave her a reprimanding look. So much for not bringing up the H-word.

“I’m not gonna play that with two dudes and a lesbian,” Dean scoffed, “Especially not since one of the dudes is _Sam_.”

“Truth or Dare, then?” Charlie tried anew.

“Chances are that’d just end up being depressing,” Sam commented. Dean couldn’t claim he didn’t have a point. Someone would eventually end up saying something stupid that’d lead to some sort of argument or another. It was a bad idea altogether.

“What’s Truth or Dare?” Cas asked, cocking his head to the side. Charlie’s mouth went ajar.

“Dudes,” she almost gasped, “He’s never played Truth or Dare.”

“Of course he hasn’t. That’s not exactly how angels pass their time,” Dean sighed. This was very suspicious, he thought. Why in the world was she actually advocating a game like that? Clearly, she was up to something… In fact, her whole sudden appearance was a bit strange altogether. Maybe she hadn’t showed up just by chance…? A gnawing suspicion was starting grow inside his skull. Well, if he wanted to find out whatever it was she was up to, he no choice but to play along. That, or start an _interrogation_. The real question was how curious about it he was.

“Okay,” he said, making his decision, “One game. Then we’ll do something else. Let’s try and cram as many experiences into his head as we can before the end of the day.”

“That doesn’t sound very pleasant,” Cas commented. Again, no one paid him any attention.

“Then what?” Charlie said, “Pin the Donkey?”

“Only if Sam’s the donkey.”

“Hey!”

“We could play twister,” Cas tried. 

“That’s a great idea!” Charlie said enthusiastically, a fact that seemed to please the former angel.

“We’re not gonna play twister,” Dean groaned, “For the same reasons we’re not gonna play Seven Minutes in Heaven. It’ll get weird.”

“No it won’t,” Charlie persisted, “But if you’re so afraid of cooties you can be the one to man the wheel.”

Dean just groaned in response. Had he been naïve in thinking that they’d be able to just hang out and have a good time? Wasn’t it enough to just sit down, grab a few beers, and talk? And, maybe, watch copious amounts of movies? They didn’t need to play _twister_. He wasn’t flexible enough for that crap, and he definitely didn’t need that fact to be highlighted. This whole thing only served as kindling to his suspicions. Maybe Charlie was just out to make fun of him? Was that her endgame, then? He couldn’t remember having done anything to deserve that. So, if that was the case, the one to blame for the whole thing was most likely _Sam_. He thought he could win their little feud by calling in outside help? Well, that was a mistake he wouldn’t soon live down.

“What else then? The night’s still young, we have time for some more suggestion,” Dean said.

“I bought a game of Jenga a few days ago,” Sam said, standing up from his seat as though ready to go get it.

“Or how about something that doesn’t suck?” Dean scoffed, “You and Cas can play that sometime on your own when you won’t have to bore everyone else with it.”

“We can start soft with some Go Fish? I have a deck in my bag,” Charlie said, pulling a star wars themed one from her backpack and tapping it lightly against the table. This seemed a bit too innocent to be real, if she really was an agent of Sam’s. Maybe they were trying to ease him into a false sense of security before screwing him over? Maybe he was just paranoid…

“Deal,” Dean said, clearing his throat, “I’ll go fetch a few beers; teach Cas’ the rules in the meantime, okay?”

“Sure thing.”

 

He got up and made his way towards the kitchen. If they were looking to have a good time playing Go Fish, he’d have to make sure they weren’t short on booze. Maybe if he got them drunk enough, Sam and Charlie would forget about their scheming. He rather doubted it. The natural response then would be to team up with Cas, even if he most probably would prove to be a reluctant ally. Ever since arriving at the bunker in his new state of humanity, he had been less than keen on getting involved with their shenanigans. There had been a few instances when he had played along, but on all of those occasions, he had been siding with Sam.

But Sam had not been the one to spend the entire morning fixing up a room for the guy. Cas _owed_ him now. He’d just have to get him away from the others long enough for him to explain their new partnership.

 

He returned soon after with two packs of beer in each hand to what appeared to be a rather festive atmosphere.

“No, you have to give me the card if I ask for it,” Charlie explained.

“But what if I want to keep it?” Cas asked, staring at his splayed out hand of cards.

“That’s cheating.”

Dean walked up to the table and placed the drinks down at the end of the table.

“He up to speed yet?” he asked.

“Basically,” Charlie responded, “But seriously, who are you trying to drink under the table? What’s with the buttload?”

She gestured towards the beer, giving Dean a sceptical look.

“What, that? That’s nothing. Heck, I’ll be surprised if I won’t have to make a run for more.”

“You have a problem,” she snorted, collecting the cards to begin the shuffling.

“No, I don’t.” He knew his limits, and while it was true that the buzz of alcohol arrived somewhat earlier the older he got, it wasn’t like he was a particularly rowdy drunk anyway. He just got sleepy and, if the mood was right, perhaps a bit giddy. Besides, it wasn’t like he was gonna drink all of it himself.

“Can I borrow Cas for a sec?” he continued. Castiel looked up at him, questioningly.

“Is something wrong?” he asked. The former angel shot a glance at Charlie, who just shrugged at him. They sure had bonded quickly, Dean noted. That was good; it would have been pretty sucky if they’d have ended up not getting along.

“Okay,” Cas said finally, standing from his seat.

“It won’t take long, I just gotta show you something real quick,” Dean assured him.

“This is not another prank is it?”

“What? _No_. No-no-no, of course not. Nothing like that. Just, c’mere.”

He placed a hand on his friend’s back and started leading him away from the others. He caught Cas looking back at them as if asking for reinforcement, but luckily for Dean they didn’t seem interested in coming to his rescue.

As soon as he was sure they were out of earshot from the enemy, he pulled Cas to a stop. He looked like he was expecting something to jump out and attack him at any moment. Dean couldn’t help but roll his eyes at it – he hadn’t been _that_ bad! He was overreacting!

“Cas,” he said in a hushed tone, pulling the other’s attention away from the imagined imminent danger, “We’re in trouble.”

“What?” Cas croaked, squinting his eyes.

“Yeah. They’re plotting to destroy us, and we need to come up with a counterattack,” Dean explained.

“Who? What are you talking about?” Cas asked, he too now whispering.

“Sam and Charlie. They’re up to something. I dunno what it is, but it can’t be good.”

“What are you talking about?” Cas repeated.

Dean groaned and took a sturdy grip of Castiel’s shoulders.

“Don’t you see? Charlie showing up out of the blue like that? Obviously Sam called her over to help him settle our score, which is _totally_ cheating. So you have to help me figure out what their big plan is and then we have to come up with a counterattack.”

Castiel was quiet for a moment, his brows deeply furrowed and his head tilting slightly to the side. He blinked slowly.

“I don’t see how this has anything to do with me,” he said.

“Oh, c’mon man! We need to work together if we’re gonna defeat them! Are you really just gonna sit and watch as Sam cheats his way to victory?” Dean whispered a tad bit louder than before.

“I don’t even understand the point of the conflict, or whatever it is you’re doing,” Cas said, “Can’t you just tell him to stop?”

“Dude, that is not-“ Dean groaned and shook his head. He could explain this all he wanted, but Cas wouldn’t understand it until he got a true taste of the battlefield. There was nothing to it, then.

“I gave you a _room_ , which means you have to back me up on this,” Dean said, “I worked my butt off for you, the least you can do is help me with this.”

Castiel groaned, which was the final sign of Dean’s triumph.

“Alright. But I don’t know what you expect of me,” Castiel sighed in defeat.

“Just give them hell and show them no mercy,” Dean said. He let go of his friend’s shoulders to ruffle his hair. This was gonna be awesome. Sam and Charlie was a sharp duo, but there was no way they’re defeat Dean as long as he had some backup… even if the backup was Cas.

“You mean sort of like what you have been doing to me up until now?” Cas asked gruffly.

“Exactly! There’s some great inspiration right there,” Dean said.

“So I should wait until they fall asleep and then pour ice cold water on them, and serve them food that has been spiced beyond comprehension, and steal all their underwear and exchange them for weirdly shaped ones with animal pattern, and tie their shoelaces together when they’re not paying attention, and-“

“Yes!” Dean said, motioning for them to return to the library, “See, I knew I didn’t do all that in vain. You are well prepared.”

“And put childish notes on their backs, and paint their faces while they sleep, and lock them in the bathroom-“

“Okay, I get it; you’re _pissed_ ,” Dean interrupted him, “But let’s just pretend _they_ did all that. Harness that anger and make them pay!”

Cas let out some sort of grunting sound that Dean decided to interpret as an ‘okay’.

“I promise if we win, I’ll go easier on you from now on,” Dean said solemnly. Even if being given a room was a pretty neat gift, he felt he had to have some sort of reward waiting for the guy to ensure that he really gave it his all. Cas did not look too impressed with his offer, but he didn’t comment on it with anything other than a tired glare. Dean gave him a happy pat on the back. Together they’d make sure Sam would rue the day he tried to cheat Dean Winchester. The game was _on_.


End file.
